‘Steven Seagal Lawman’ press kit vital to national security, ships in mini flack jacket

lawman-press-kit

The gear that keeps your press kit safe at all costs

Yes, you’ve heard correctly. The ‘Steven Seagal Lawman’ press kit and the information contained therein is so important that they have been shipped out to the press in their own baby body armor. They don’t want any intelligence assassination on their hands.

And to make it more special, it was a limited release of only 400.

Representatives at A&E say that the miniature flack vest could be put on your dog, but we know what the real intent is: they want 400 babies from across the country to go as Steven Seagal Lawman for Halloween. Promotion just in time for the holidays. I hope they come out with a promotional turkey baster slash cavity search tool out in time for Thanksgiving.

And you truly need a vest to protect you from all the flack you get when you are Steven Seagal Lawman. Seagal has been getting it from all sides, most recently from ex-Hollywood private dick, Anthony Pellicano, and his partner, Alexander Proctor, who were charged with threatening a reporter from the Los Angeles Times, Anita Busch, with a dead fish.

Associated Press: October 23, 2009:
According to court papers, Pellicano hired Proctor in 2002 to intimidate Busch, who found a bullet-sized hole on the windshield of her car along with a dead fish, a rose and a note with the word “Stop.”

Busch told authorities she believed the threat stemmed from a story she was putting together on Seagal and his former producing partner, Julius Nasso. Earlier that year, Nasso was indicted with New York mob figures for plotting to extort money from Seagal.

Seagal denied hiring Pellicano and was never charged in the case.

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